What they say

I hate to consider all of the funny and mostly weird things my kids have said that have now simply escaped my mind.  I wish I would have written every one of them down.  Here are a few of the things they have said recently that I’ve got to record here before I forget.

A little bit of background, first:  Jude (almost 6) and Jett (almost 5) share a room.  They have bunk beds.  They rarely sleep apart, however.  They are most often sharing the top bunk… and we let them.  It seems they get up and out of bed fewer times than when they sleep apart from one another.  It’s probably just cozier and more comfortable.  Except for when…

Just earlier tonight, the boys had already been put to bed when I went to use the restroom which is right next to their bedroom.  It was maybe 30 minutes after their bedtime; I noticed that they were still awake.  Jett saw me and started complaining that Jude was hitting him.  I went into their room and told Jude not to touch Jett and told them that they should both be getting to sleep.  I told Jude that if he hit Jett again, he wouldn’t be able to sleep in the same bed together.  I left their room and just a minute later as I was coming out of the bathroom, Jett called for me to come back.  I went in and he explained, “First, Jude was hitting me and his heart was full of naughtiness, but now his heart is full of love.”  Well, now!  I’m glad that things were resolved in that minute, and that’s quite a way of putting it!

Maybe another thirty minutes after that, Josh and I went in their room after we heard crying: still not asleep.  Jett had been the one crying.  He explained: “Jude hit me again!  His heart is full of hate and my heart is full of love!”  Meanwhile, Jude exclaimed, “I can’t stop loving you, Jett!”, while he was trying to embrace him through Josh’s restraint.  My goodness.  Really?  Drama City.  Jude got kicked out of the bed and was forced to sleep alone in the bottom bunk. 

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Last week we were on our way to pick up the kids in our carpool before going to school in the morning.  It was really cold outside.  After seeing and commenting that my car was reading a measly 7 degree outside temperature, Jude began, “It’s colder than…”

“It’s colder than a witch’s…”

At this point, I’m sitting in the driver’s seat making an I-can’t-believe-what-I’m-hearing face and just waiting to see if he was really going to say it.  (For those of you who aren’t familiar with this crass phrase, google it!)

“It’s colder than a witch’s…”, he stammered…

I’m still in shock and wish he would just spit it out already.

“It’s colder than a witch’s… LAIR!”

Phew!  I laughed nervously and asked him where he had heard that phrase.

He proudly announced that he had just made it up!

Hmmm… I still don’t know if I believe him completely.  I mean, what a coincidence that there is another much more well known phrase pertaining to coldness and a witch!  But really, in his defense, the kid uses the word “lair” much more than he should.  It’s just not that common of a word – at least not within adult vernacular, unless of course you are a forestry major or an evil scientist.  The need for “lair” must come up much more frequently in little boy speak.  Not unlike the word “thrice”, which believe it or not, Jett sneaks into everyday conversations like it’s the most common thing in the world.  I mean, really.  And yes, he uses it correctly, the goofball.