A going problem

I’m really hoping Jett doesn’t have an enlarged prostate because then the title of this entry would really not be funny.  And possibly even more inappropriate.

You see, my almost-four-year-old has a problem with frequent urination.

This “condition” started about 4 weeks ago.  And when I say frequent, I do mean frequent.  There are times when he’ll go, flush, and then go again before the toilet tank water fills.  That frequently.  It’s not always that bad, but there are times, man… it’s out of control.  It comes and goes in severity.  He could go 10 times in an hour, and then be ok for a while, and then he’ll go through another bout. But overall, it’s been consistently frequent over these last several weeks.

I’ve asked him DOZENS of times if it hurts when he goes.  He always says no.

When he does go, it’s usually just a few drops.

I ask him why he is going so much and he says one of three things:

1) My penis is training me.

2) It’s training me.

3) My penis wants to go.

I have no doubt that he feels the sensation to go, but I don’t know what’s causing it.  Luckily for moms like me – who have high-deductible medical insurance, by the way – the Internet provides a wealth of diagnoses.

I choose to believe he has this condition: Pollakiuria, aka Extraordinary Daytime Urinary Frequency Syndrome (EDUFS, my own acronym – pronounced E-duffs)

You think I’m making this up, don’t you?

Nope.  Back me up, Internet!  Pollakiuria

This article was thee top Google search for frequent urination in children, so, like I said, it must be an accurate diagnosis.  Ninety bucks saved.

In all seriousness, the kids really did not like the idea of selling our house.  That is the only stress that boy had in his life, not counting the stress that Jude has a God-given right to inflict upon him, of course.  And now that we’re not selling, so I hope this thing goes away on it’s own within a few months just like the article states.

Poor kid.

Believe me, I’m glad he doesn’t have any pain or other symptoms, but going so frequently does pose some unpleasantness – just not on his part.

Consider the following:

He oftentimes pulls his pants and underwear down the moment he feels the urge.  Doesn’t matter if he’s in the kitchen, living room, preschool foyer, he drops drawers immediately and then hops to the bathroom.

He was flushing.  A lot.  And then Josh had a talk with him about not flushing when he only goes a few drops.  I mean, c’mon, we have a water bill to think about.  Jett has really taken this advice to heart and will not flush under any circumstances.  Any circumstances.  I’ve heard him yell at Jude for flushing, and I have heard him announce: “Daddy says not to flush!” to his friends.

If we’re going somewhere, he’ll be thinking a step ahead about the new and different toilet he WILL be using.  On the way to church: “Is there a toilet at the church, Mom?”; on the way to his friend Grant’s house for a play date: “I can use Grant’s toilet, Mom!”; on the way to preschool: “I will go potty at preschool!”.  The world is his… well, toilet.

Another strange component of this ailment?  Around the same time this started, he began staying dry every single night.  Sometimes he’ll have to go a couple times right before bed, but once he’s asleep, the urge gets shut off and he’s golden until the morning.

I’ll leave you with one cute little story illustrating how well he’s coping with this syndrome; he’s not letting EDUFS steal his joy:  Last Sunday was Palm Sunday and as we were in the car leaving church, the kids – holding their construction-paper palm branches – were so excited (and maybe a little confused) about their lesson in children’s church.  Jett said, “Let’s go see Jesus!  But… I have to go potty first!”