Boogers in church

Sunday morning Josh and I were sitting in church with Jude.  Jett was already in the nursery.  Jude was sitting very nicely during the first part of the worship songs.  Then he started to get a little restless.

He sat on my lap, then Josh’s, then back to my lap again.  Josh offered him a toy to play with, he refused.  Then he sat in the seat (auditorium seating) next to me.

I noticed he was picking his nose.

He must have got something, because he was staring at his index finger in front of his face.  The lights were dimmed in order to see the song lyrics from the projector, making it a little bit difficult to see, thus the intense staring – he wanted to see his score.  I preemptively brushed his hand off assuming his next move was finger-in-mouth.

I didn’t expect him to object.  Vocally.  "Where did you put my [booger] burger, Mom?" he asked.

Fortunately, we were in the middle of a song, so I knew no one probably heard.  Then a little louder: "Where is it?  Is it on your hand?  Is it on the chair?!  I want my burger!"

I tried to distract him by picking him up and attempting to get him interested in the music.  His legs started kicking and he was getting upset and fidgety.  "I want my burger!"

Josh and I each warned him as sternly as possible to be quiet and sit still.

Oh no, it’s time for a prayer.  That means no music, mostly silence.  I hold my breath… 

Jude, loudly: "Mom?! I want my bu-"  I quickly put my hand over his mouth, muffling the last syllable before the whole congregation could hear his ridiculous protest. 

And then, like so often happens, I marched him out of there in a big hurry as we both waited for that magical announcement: "Children may be dismissed for children’s church."

*Sigh of relief*