A hippo in my eye and apple pie

That’s how my very long & challenging day ended yesterday.  It was one of those days.  It would seem as though my little boys had conspired as masterminds to break me.  Their plan began early and ended when they went to bed.  That’s how I felt.

Most of it was direct and utter disobedience.  Oh, that gets my blood a-boiling!  I could tell them to do or not do something, and they just keep on keeping on like I wasn’t even there.  So maddening!  I was disciplining all day.  Time outs, spankings, taking away privileges – nothing seemed to work.  They seem sad and remorseful at the moment of discipline, but it didn’t do anything to deter future behavior.  At least not yesterday.  Maybe I need to get more creative or maybe I just need to stick to the plan even when I don’t see results.

The other thing that irks me is when they are super physical and aggressive toward me – not intentionally trying to hurt me (I think), but being way playful when I’m least expecting it.  Like yesterday morning I was bending down in the living room to pick some clothes up from off the floor, and – WHACK! – Jett jumps from the couch behind me right on my back.  Oooh that makes me angry!  He’s smiling and giggling, ready to play.  Can’t he see I’m tiding up his mess in the first place?  Doesn’t he understand that hurts mommy?

I’d been getting torked all morning from lots of little infractions.  Luckily, the phone rang.  It was my friend Jackie asking us to come over to play.  Perfect!  Just what we needed – a change of scenery.  While we were there the boys did pretty well.  Jude pushed another kid down from behind – I made him apologize and gave him a time out sitting next to me while the other boys played.  Jett was constantly trying to get beyond a gated area.  I repeatedly told him no, didn’t phase him.  He is always pushing me, stubborn as can be.  I finally sat in front of the gate and turned him away each time he attempted to get past this gate.  Then he became very clingy and just wanted to be held.  He was super tired so he sat on my lap the remainder of our time there.  Then Jude, who clearly knew the gated area was off limits, moved the gate aside – and continued going where he wasn’t supposed to go completely ignoring my warnings from just an arms-length away.  That was the last straw.  We helped pick up toys and left because he refused to obey.

Jett fell asleep on the way home from our play date.  In hopes of salvaging the day, I’d planned to make a special supper and I needed to pick up a few things from the grocery store to pull it off.  So, I stopped even though Jett was asleep.  I carried him sleeping throughout the store while pushing Jude in the cart.  By the way, helping Jude climb into the cart whilst holding the sleeping Jett was a sight to behold!  We made it in and out of the store without incident.

When we got home, I put Jett in his bed and Jude and I had a quick lunch.  I put him down for a nap… and it took!  That’s a plus!  So, with both boys sleeping, I started planning this meal.  I was looking for crockpot recipes for beef roast with potatoes & carrots but couldn’t find one.  Mom called during this time so I got her advice and got started.  Then Jett got up from his nap!  Urgh.  That wasn’t nearly a long enough nap for me!  I got busy peeling and dicing potatoes, carrots and onions and got the crockpot started while trying to feed Jett lunch.

As I was beginning to start the apple pie, Jude woke up too and wanted to help.  That’s fine, I like when he helps – he seems to take great pride in it.  Right then, Jett was asking me for a drink of water, so I handed him a little glass.  He drank it and wanted more, I’m working with Jude next to the food processor and its sharp blades, so I tell Jett to wait.  He throws the glass and it shatters at our feet.  I tell Jett to go in the living room and he instead walks barefoot towards the glass.  Of course he does.  I warn Jude to stay up on one of the kitchen chairs and stick Jett in his room to keep glass out of his feet.  I go back to the kitchen and sweep multiple times and then vacuum.  Jude’s “rocking” to himself on the chair with his hands over his ears because he’s so scared of the vacuum.  The floor is clear of danger so I go to get Jett.  He’s torn the blankets and sheets off Jude’s bed (which is a favorite trick of his) and he is naked from the waist down with brown streaks all up and down his legs.  Sure enough, there is a diaper full of poop that he’s taken off behind the door (another one of his tricks).  Urgh!  Without going into too much detail about his diaper, it was clear the only way to get him cleaned up was to put him in the tub.  So, I started a bath for him and began cleaning up his room.

In this time, Jude has moved the chair back over to the countertop where we were baking and is in front of the food processor.  Luckily I got to him before he could start playing.  I unplugged everything and moved Jude back to the table and told him to stay away until we could start the apple pie again.  I went to get Jett out of the bath tub.  He’s jumping around in the water, trying to splash as much as possible.  I wrap the towel around him and dry him off, put a diaper on him.  Get back to baking.

Jude and I make a pie crust.  After trying to roll it out a number of times, it keeps breaking apart so I throw it away and start again.  I try another pie crust recipe, one I’ve used before and know is good.  I’m not too confident on his cutting-butter-into-flour skills so I tell Jude sadly that I don’t need his help anymore.  He doesn’t seem to mind. 

Next, I start slicing the apples for the pie.  I look at the clock and can’t believe it’s 5 pm already!  I slice and slice and slice, keeping the boys at bay by giving them apple slices intermittently, although Jett kept reaching for a whole apple, and I kept telling him no.  I get the pie assembled and into the oven. I begin working on the topping and notice, somehow, someway, Jett chewing on that whole apple in the living room.  I don’t know how he got it but it was too late by then.  He’d taken 20 little bites from all around the apple.  I let it go.  I just want to run away at this point, start looking in the classified section for jobs. 

Josh gets home!  Yay!  I just want to scream and start tattling on the boys.  He announces he should mow the yard again.  He mowed only two days prior but the yard has all this thick, stubborn, fast-growing grass and there were clumps from when he mowed Monday so he goes out to mow again – and bags the grass which takes him about twice as long.

I finish making garlic toast from the french bread I bought and began the gravy.  Yes, gravy.  It was – like – the 2nd time in my life I made gravy.  I get Josh to come in for supper and by this point, he is only half-done with the yard.  We eat, I make plates for the kids but they don’t eat much.  I don’t even have the energy to call them back to the table when they run into the living room and turn the tv on.  I’m loving the quiet time, to be honest.  Josh goes back out to finish the yard.  The kids have found something on tv to occupy them for more than 5 minutes, and I’m thankful for a break from them.  I start washing the 1,000 dishes and utensils I dirtied making this meal. 

Josh gets done and takes a quick shower to rinse off.  The boys heard him come back in and ran back to our room while I was still cleaning the kitchen.  When Josh gets out of the shower, they’d taken all of our blankets, pillows and sheets off our bed and are rolling around in them on the floor.  I don’t get these kids!

Finally, we all kick back in the living room.  I lay down on the couch, my head on Josh’s lap, and it’s the first time in a long while to put my feet up and relax.  I’m tired – emotionally and physically tired.  Just then, Jett is playing with a hard plastic hippo near me and wouldn’t you know it, SMACKS me in the nasal/ocular region.  I can’t even get mad, I just get up and away from them.  I pass by the front door to my bedroom and for a split second think about running and never coming back.  But I just go check my face out in the mirror.  Lots of redness but only a tiny spot where it broke my skin.  I cool off and return and we round up the kids for bed.  They are tired.  Really?  Ya think?

Josh and I go back to the kitchen get ourselves a slice of apple pie and vanilla ice cream and I make a little bit of coffee.  We watch tv and relax.  Josh looks back at me and says it’s the best apple pie he’s had in his life.  I don’t argue.  I just smile, knowing the whole day was worth it.

As we’re shutting off lights, I realize I don’t know what happened to the apple Jett was carrying around earlier.  It was the size of a man’s fist and I know he couldn’t have finished it.  We look around the living room & kitchen and can’t find it.  We’re both exhausted and figure the ants will lead us to it eventually.